Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Denial Is A River In Egypt

My husband found this one earlier:

I'm concerned that my son has a secret girlfriend?
(posted approx 4 months ago)

My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he is going to get her pregnant.

What should I do about this?

Additional Details
He is not a homosexual, we have taught him from the bible and he has learned though our church that this is not in God's plan. I will not teach him about condoms, that is unacceptable, we have always taught him about abstinence and that is what God and his future wife expects from him.

I want to speak to our pastor about this but I am very afraid of what he would think we are teaching our son if he things we are allowing him to sneak a girl into his bedroom. That is clearly inappropriate and we are good parents, I am very afraid what he will think of us.

Hilarity ensues.


Monday, April 13, 2009


I LOL'd this morning when one of the radio morning show peeps started talking about "manscaping"... I guess his wife wanted a guinea pig for waxing purposes and they volunteered the other morning show guy. It's common these days for men to do more traditional girly stuff like waxing, but I hadn't heard that term before. Manscaping. LOL. Had to share :)

Speaking of, my husband recently turned down an offer to do a little waxing himself. He'd probably be embarrassed for me to talk about it but that makes it more fun right? (Love you, sweety!) Basically, my hubby is a big ol' sack of testosterone -- dude's got some serious hair like everywhere. Sort of like a blond Robin Williams. Or David Hasslehoff.

...Okay maybe not quite that bad, but he's pretty hairy. Anyway our roommate almost talked him into waxing his back but he backed down last minute because he didn't feel it was worth $40. *I* feel it's worth $40. He gets so friggin' itchy all the time with all that hair. Somehow, some way, he will be talked into "manscaping."

In other news, I finally bought some bookcases. I thought maybe two of the five-shelf bookcases would be sufficient, but alas... that only got me through the letter L (I was going alphabetical). We went out and bought a third five-shelf bookcase and the rest of the books fit perfectly. There's wiggle room on each shelf for the inevitable additions, plus I made a list of books I was missing as I put stuff away, so there's room for the missing books, too. I'm missing about 10 that I know of, and that's only because they were parts of series. There could be some missing singles but of course I won't realize that until I want to read it and go "now wait a minute, where is that book? I know I have it here somewhere..."

Also got a good workout yesterday while we were cleaning out the garage. Today is free large item pickup day, so we dragged everything and the kitchen sink out to the sidewalk to be picked up. Lotta garage stuff -- "workbenches" that were old kitchen cabinets with old doors on the top that functioned as "desk" space, an old lawnmower that crapped out, the shower we tore out of the lower level bathroom, miscellaneous pieces of wood, couple of tree branches, etc. It was a pretty impressive pile. And now our garage can maybe accommodate (gasp!) a second car. Scandalous, I tell you. Just scandalous.

Anyway I need to get to work. TTFN!

Today's nostalgic "Good Idea, Bad Idea":

Good Idea: Taking a deep breath before jumping into a swimming pool.
Bad Idea: Taking a deep breath after jumping into a swimming pool.


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Goals, I Has Dems

Heh. Okay, that was a much longer delay than I really wanted between posts. Something about distractions and lack of internet for an entire evening... anyway, as promised, I'm trying to post on a regular basis again!

Today's "hmm" moment: for the first time since January I'm reading a new book. This may not seem like the triumph of a century, but after cutting "unnecessary" things from my budget (which includes trips to the bookstore) I've been stuck either re-reading whatever I could get a hold of (not much when all my books are packed in the basement still), or going without. Mostly going without due to school work. And this really shouldn't surprise me anymore, but I feel so much more relaxed when I can read for entertainment. I'm able to forget the rest of the world for a few hours and bury myself in imagination. This strengthens my resolve to read the 30+ books this year.

So let's see... what goals can I give myself for April? And May. Probably need to think about that one ahead of time too. I did so well with the Jan/Feb goals that I want to keep doing it. Any suggestions?


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I'M BACK. No, really!

This ain't no April Fools joke, kids. The Bioche is back! School is no longer kicking my ass quite as hard as it was and I am slowly finding time in my schedule to do things like... well, blog. Or, you know, breathe. And sleep.

But hey -- great news!

As of Feb 27th we have... A SADIE. What is a Sadie? you ask. She's a sweet 65lb 1 yr and 8 mo old Shepherd-Collie mix is what she is! The cuteness is unbelievable. We adopted her from the Boulder Humane Society because we're just good people like that. No pictures yet though because I'm a slacktard, but I promise I'll try to get some loaded for you guys to "awww!" at soon. There is one pic on my husband's Facebook for those of you that happen to have him friended, but out of my usual reader base (you know, all 20 of you that used to come here) I think only one of you even has me on Facebook. Anyway, you shall have pictures. Check back in a few to see if I've added any. (u like wot I did thar? hee!)

Also have to send a shout out to Kelly Meding -- you are rocking that new book cover! Let me know when I can spill and post a pic on here. Also, everyone else should put Three Days to Dead on their to-read list when it comes out in October. DO IT. Do it or I shall show up at your house and eyeball you a lot. Like this. (Yes, that is me. Yes, I realize I have the frizzy hair of doom.)

Dang. I haven't done this in so long I've lost my flow. I was logging in here to come make a post of awesome and joy, however I think I'll leave you guys with this brief update and try again tomorrow morning. Oh! Wait, that was it. I forgot to tell you guys... my nightowlness is shifting itself to be severe early morning instead of "late night." I've found if I hit the sack at 9:30 (that's early for the person that usually goes to bed between 11 and midnight) then I can get up at 4am and have some serious concentration time. I love it. Two hours to myself without anyone else being awake, it's still dark so I still feel like it's middle of the night, and I'm not brain fried from being at work all day. The state of mind at that time in the morning is fantastical. It's just... wow. I wish I had converted sooner. I may have even found a new time to try and pound out a few thousand words on that new stuff I promised I'd write this year.

So, I shall leave you with my goal updates and be back tomorrow. Stay tuned! And if you need an update before that because you just can't wait, you can always check Twitter. Or seek professional help. Whichever works for you!


Long-term Stuff:
-- Make healthier eating choices. Considering what we spend on food we're not doing too badly. If we were spending the extra money we could be eating uber healthy, but right now we're kind of doing the budget thing, so yeah.
-- Plan / outline / brainstorm at least one complete novel. Slackerific the Slacktastic Slackness, that's my name now. To my credit though I've been hella busy with school and things so it's not entirely my fault. Right? Am I right?
-- Write said planned novel in three months. Pending previous goal.
-- Be active at least three days out of the week. Well, due to the new addition (Sadie!) we've been out walking at least once a day. This one is going strong and showing no signs of stopping!
-- Stick to the budget. We're actually doing so well on this one that my husband now bitterly calls us misers. Sir Spend A Lot is making more adjustment than he wants to, I think. Meanwhile I'm all proud of myself for living like the stereotypical writer ^_^
-- Find a second renter. Bit the bullet and joined It's only been one day so far so I'm trying not to be too eager to get responses, but damn, every time I get those silly "you have another match!" emails I get all excited thinking it's someone that emailed me.
-- Finish one of two bathrooms. Got ourselves a curved double rod for the upstairs bathroom and are now using it. This is because we had to tear out the downstairs bathroom due to an un-reparable leak in the base... and now we get to rebuild it. Woo.
-- Take a two week vacation. Still don't know what to do with my remaining vacation. Pondering a drive back to KC to see the folks. Yes, I did just use that word. I am not old fashioned, I swear... I'm just from the midwest. kthx.
-- Read 30 books. I read Kelly Meding's As Lie The Dead and Carla Harker's Lethal Lies. Since then I've also devoured Scott Westerfield's Uglies and Pretties, with his other two on my to-read list. That's um... not much of an improvement since January. But, I am currently reading Kim Harrison's The Good, The Bad, and The Undead. That will be 5 down, 25 to go... I've got time!

Short-Term Stuff:
I got nothin. Any suggestions? Maybe I'll make a list tomorrow during my lunch break.

Today's nostalgic "Good Idea, Bad Idea":

Good Idea: Tossing a penny into the fountain to make a wish.
Bad Idea: Tossing your cousin Penny into the fountain to make a wish.