Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Game Plan

Okay, so I'm lagging a little bit on NaNo. Lagging is better than a complete stop, however, so I've come up with a game plan to keep myself in his race.

Right now I stand here:

Technically, I was supposed to be here by the end of last night:

That's about 4200 words behind. But, that's okay. I've been behind for all but the first day of this NaNo and I haven't stopped yet. So what is my plan? There are a few things to consider.

1 - We're leaving for KC on Wednesday, and we're driving. From Denver to KC is about a 9 hour drive if we speed a little more than is necessary and don't stop much. It might be 10 hours if we decide we're not in that much of a hurry, or if there are too many Kansas State Troopers hanging around. Since I'll be in the passenger seat of our comfy rental car (because we are so not taking OUR car on that long of a trip) I'll have some time to pound out a few thousand words. If I don't get carsick.

2 - I'm pretty much not going to write from Thursday to Saturday. This is because I have a very large family and multiple Thanksgivings to attend, plus my mom's 50th bday party on Saturday, and some additional baby shower registering on Black Friday (*shudder*)... not to mention the fact that there are a lot of people waiting to see the pregnant lady. I still haven't posted or sent anyone baby bump pics so they're kind of antsy. Due to the insane amounts of food I'll be eating that baby bump will probably expand to make me look like I'm 7 or 8 months along instead of 6. Anyway, not a lot of writing from Thursday to Saturday.

3 - This leaves me with only Sunday (and if all else fails, Monday after work) to do any catch up from Thanksgiving week. That blows. Why? Because Sunday is November 29thth, the next to the last day of NaNoWriMo. The site will be slow from everyone validating their word count -- which is why Monday after work is completely out of the question. If I wait until the last minute to update my word count I may not register as crossing the finish line within the deadline even if I DO actually do it. This means I want to have my NaNo completely done by Sunday the 29th or I only want to have 1-2k left to go.

So, with all of that in mind, I have to be damn productive from now until next Tuesday.

I figure if I can make myself pump out a good 3k words a day from now through Tuesday, that will leave me with a word count of approximately 46,400. Like this:

(I like pictures, can you tell??)

That means all I would have to do is write 3,600 words between Wednesday through Sunday. My hope is that I can write those 3600 words in the car on Wednesday and have some breathing room for Thanksgiving, but this is uber slacker we're talking about here. I'll probably get 2k in the car and have to find time to write the last 1600 somewhere in there. This is assuming, of course, that I actually make my 3k a day word goal from now until then. But I shall banish such pessimistic thoughts.


And if I can't... well, hey, I've got more words written this month than I've done combined in the last two years. That's huge. I've found out that even when I'm brain fried and baby tired (which is like every day after 6pm) I'm still able to force 1k words into a word processor a night. If I choose, I can make that a daily ritual. And I will choose to do that. Oh yes, I will. I miss writing. It's time to insert it back into my busy life.

Root for me, people. I'm on the path to victory!


Sunday, November 8, 2009

Poker Face

So if you haven't already heard it (almost impossible at this point), Lady Gaga released a song earlier in the year (possibly last year?) titled Poker Face. I kind of like it actually. It has a nice beat and ornery lyrics.

Then, if you've been watching South Park lately, you may have noticed that Cartman sang the song for a game that looked like it was probably Rock Band or something similar. Oh my hilariousness.

I didn't think anything could top that...


Traumatized yet? ;)


Sunday, November 1, 2009

NaNo: Day 1. Success!

Here it goes, then. Almost a year of writing damn near nothing and I started NaNo at a pretty good pace. Just a little over 1k words in the morning followed by a grand total of 1964 words by the end of the day.


No school makes a lot of difference. I don't feel pressured to hurry up and write so I can do my homework or vice versa. There's no guilty conscience screaming in my ear about stuff I'm supposed to be doing other than writing ridiculous prose. (Well, almost no guilty conscience. I was supposed to finish cleaning the computer room today and that sort of didn't happen. Shhhhh.)

Also, I'm a slacker of epic proportions. I totally didn't tell you guys.

We're expecting a little bundle of testosterone!!! (OMG, I'm 21 weeks on Monday! I'm past the halfway point!!! Mah belleh, it gets bigger...)

Gonna sign off early tonight so I can go to sleep (*snort*) and get up early to pound out a few hundred words in the morning before work.

And if you haven't started the NaNo craziness... THERE'S STILL TIME. Go! Go on! Sign up already. Start writing.

Or post your word count. Is anyone up for a word war sometime this week? Just let me know. Imma be there to kick your butt.


Monday, October 19, 2009


Today, victory is ours... for we have successfully made Gooseberry pie in high altitude using a recipe for, well, not high altitude.

For those of you that don't know, Gooseberries are famously tart. I LURVE me some tart berries. We paired it with a graham cracker crust this time and ohhhhhhhhh. Just... ohhhhh. I think I had a pie-gasm while I was eating it. Seriously, you guys need to find you some Gooseberries and make a pie.

This isn't the pie I made but it's a picture that looks the most similar. Just imagine it with a graham cracker base and no top crust.

Drooling yet? I know I am. I'm resisting the urge to go up there and eat the whole damn thing.

Here's the original recipe. Since we're at mile high we added another 1.5 tablespoons of corn starch and a teaspoon of flour. (We did this last year using the original recipe and the filling never thickened... it was basically soup in a pie crust. Still tasted good, but very soupy.)

Gooseberry Pie

2 cans OregoN Gooseberries
1/2 to 1 cup sugar (more or less to taste)
2 to 3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
Pastry for double crust 9-inch pie

Preheat oven to 400 F. Drain syrup from gooseberries, reserving 1/2 cup of the syrup. Combine the sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Mix the reserved syrup into the dry ingredients and cook until thickened. Remove from heat. Gently stir in gooseberries.

Pour into pastry-lined pie pan and dot with butter or margarine. Adjust top crust, seal, and vent. Bake for 30 minutes or until crust is brown.

You may choose to add 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, nutmeg, or mace for extra flavor.

Well? Go on! Go make a pie already and celebrate with me.


Friday, October 16, 2009

Indecisive Sass Is Indecisive

So, like normal, I've decided to toss out the current NaNo idea and go with something else. Namely, this chica from a past writing challenge (the topic was "cyborgs"):

"So... um... how do I work?"

I lifted my arms, careful not to touch anything. They felt heavy. Mechanical noises in my shoulders followed the movement as I extended one arm and then the other. As I shifted my footing for balance I felt my ghost foot ache with the pressure. A quick glance down let me know my left leg was really just metal from the knee down.

"There's 'nuff weaponry in them arms to take out a small country. Just think what you need and it'll pop out," Rod said, fiddling with the toothpick in his mouth.

My new metal ribs stretched the scar on my side as I took a deep breath. I bent my elbow to take a closer look at my hand. It certainly looked like real skin. Felt like it, too. Amazing.

"Is there a manual or something? I don't want to go for pistol and have my arm manifest a bazooka."

He laughed. "No manual, sweetheart. I could tell ya whats in there and how'ta fix it, but I ain't yer maker. Only Clive knows that junk."

A walking weapons arsenal. I liked it. Maybe this time I'd actually get to kill that asshole arms dealer. Maybe with some of his own product. I'd have to find out exactly what was built into me and how to use it so I could light up his ass six ways to Sunday. Visions of smoking ash piles made me smile. Oh yes, he'd regret tearing me limb from limb.

I tried a few defensive stances and punched the air. A bolt popped off with a loud "zing" and a small puff of air escaped my elbow. Something made an ugly grinding noise.

Rod raised one bushy eyebrow. "Hmph. That ain't good."

Yes, it's rough. I pulled it outta my tail about 20 minutes before I posted it. But oh the potential. And I don't really have to put as much effort into coming up with a storyline for her. She already has a background.

Plus, my hillbilly ancestors are loving Rod and Clive and their old skool mechanic skills. Overhaulin' y'all. Cyborg style. And yes, that is Summer Glau in the picture. Males may now commence drooling.

However, I was discussing both NaNo ideas with Crankypants (aka a friend from Cali) and I mentioned that I still liked my villainess from the other NaNo idea. We agreed it would be possible to mix the two. Picture this: bloodlust girl finds a new toy, one that bleeds but has mechanical parts to explore. Of course Crankypants had an entirely different scenario in his head involving what I'm sure was oil or a tub full of jello or a pit of mud or something, to which I replied that fantasy would likely happen in bloodlust girl's head. Only, yannow, involving more blood. What I'm trying to work out is whether the arms dealer mentioned in this blurb is involved with bloodlust girl, or if the antagonists need to have antagonists. Arms Dealer vs Bloodlust Girl vs Cyborg Girl. It just screams NaNo.

We'll see if this idea sticks. I hope it does... cyborg girl sounds fun.

Today's moment of zen:


Thursday, October 1, 2009


I know, I did it again, I disappeared off the face of the earth. At least it wasn't for 3 months though, eh?

So I haven't thought a lot about my NaNo in a few weeks. School and life are pretty much kicking my ass. However, I did decide how to work in Greek mythology. (I did this a couple of weeks ago, actually. I just haven't had time to blog!)

Zeus, aka the most ancient of manwhores, allegedly has an affair. I know, don't faint. But he does it with Eric's sidekick -- Preggers. Guess how she got that way??? Oh yes. I did in fact just pull a sekret bebbe move here. It's corny and juicy and you know it... especially when Hera (Zeus's wifey and a perpetually menopausal goddess) shows up in search of the little bastard. NaNo fodder at its best. But I've kind of decided that rather than being all vengeful with the killing and such, Hera might just sit down and have a civil conversation with Preggers (when and if Hera finds Preggers). Ideas for that convo, I has dems.

At this point you might be asking where Eric fits into all of this. He is, after all, the main character. Don't worry. I've got plans for him. I also know how to tie in my bloodlusting villainess. This is the part where you imagine me behind my keyboard pulling a Mr. Burns. Excellent, Smithers.

On a personal note -- holy crap I think I had the first little movements this week. I'm not entirely sure it was baby somersaults, but I have a very strong suspicion. Time will tell. At this point I'm in the middle of week 16 so it's not quite at the point where I'd expect to feel movement. Still exciting. Now if only I could find a comfortable position to sleep in...

Expect the posting to be sparse for a bit longer. This weekend I start my weekend intensive class for the semester. It's three credits and only lasts two weekends. 8ish to 4ish on both Saturday and Sunday. Lots of writing. Heavy emotional stuff. The class is called Death and Dying. It goes over how different religions and cultures deal with death, and we also go over ethical issues related to death (physician assisted death, euthanasia, pulling the plug on vegetables, etc). I hear the final project is to either write a big ol' research paper involving attendance in a hospital or old folks home, or get your final affairs in order. Yikes. I'm a bit wary about taking this class while pregnant... it would be super embarrassing to burst into tears or something equally emotional in the middle of class. I think I should be fine as long as we aren't watching any videos. Seems like conversation doesn't bother me and I don't think reading would bother me (reading is done outside of class anyway I think), but based on my recent movie-watching experience, videos might do me in.

Did I tell you about that? Yeah. We were watching Big Fish. I had already seen the movie, so I already knew what happened, but damn if I didn't start balling like a little kid twenty minutes before the end. Sobby hiccups and all. I was like WTF? I've seen this. Adventures in pregnancy.

Anyways, I'm out. Got stuff to do and all that. Happy October!

(Yes, the aspens do look like that here.)


Saturday, September 19, 2009


It be talk like a pirate day again, me hearties! Last year was great fun, it was. Time fer another round o' drinks!

There be pirate news this year:

And pirates be plundering the social media:

Facebook Group
Pyracy Pub
Bilge Monkey Blog

There even be a couple o' books to loot:

There be a whole list of online games here, savvy?

But if ye prefer real people, there be a game for that, too:

And o' course, I had to get me pirate on in WoW:

Don't forget them land-lubbin' unfortunates... there be a Walk Like a Pirate event for charity! (Only in the UK... sorry, yanks!)

Well, what are ye waiting for? Get to plunderin' ya dirty bilge rat!

Today's moment of ARRRRRR!!!!!:

Who wins? Pirates or Ninjas?


Friday, September 18, 2009

My Big Fat Greek Story

Earlier this week I was at our college library perusing the books for sale and came across a book that didn't look like it was going to bore me to tears. (It's the book in the picture right there mmkay.)

This gave me an idea. Urban Fantasy is drowning in the three big F's -- fur, fangs, and fey. Werewolves, vampires, and so many damned fair folk it's enough to make someone want to stab out their eyeballs with a silver-coated wood-tipped lead stake. Magic users are vying for space on the shelves, Djinn are sneaking their way in as well, and other shape shifters of the non-wolf variety are doing anything they can to get attention.

Don't get me wrong, I like all of them, but there's a common theme there. It's called Northern Europe. Yeah, yeah, there are vampire myths from all over the world, but I'm pretty sure most people think of the Transylvanian variety. And let's face it, the popular werewolves are the kind in close proximity to said vampires. The only creatures you can't really pin to America or Northern Europe are the Djinn, and there aren't many of them.

The Mythology book caught my eye and lit one little flickering lightbulb in my head. There are almost no stories in UF about Greek-related mythology. In fact the only one I can think of off the top of my head is in the Young Adult section. Hi there, Percy.

I haven't read any of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians books. That's probably a good thing for now, because I won't unconsciously make a decision to insert all-too-familiar situations / people / creatures into my NaNo. But Percy is on my to-read list, so I'll read him after NaNo. I gotta read him soon anyway because they're making a movie and of course I'll see the movie.

Anyway, I did some preliminary internet searches to find some inspiration. Of particular interest are the Fates and the Furies. My initial guess is that any fiction with Greek mythology themes probably involve the Fates in some way. They seem like good writing fodder. (My thoughts immediately go to the old crones in the Disney movie Hercules.) Zeus, that manwhore, is more good story fodder, and I'll probably use him.

But how am I going to tie this to my current cast of characters?

I have some ideas. I'll let them stew for a few more days before I share.

Today's moment of zen:


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Are You A Vampire or A Werewolf?

Well, what are you?

Here are my results. Gee, what a surprise ;)

You Are a Werewolf

You are moody and easily provoked.
You are highly loyal and protective of those you love.

While you can be intense at times, you are generally a laid back person.
But if a fight comes your way, you will fight 'til the death if necessary.

You seem normal to most people. No one understands how different you can be.
It's like a switch flips for you sometimes - and then you're a completely different creature.


Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Who wrote three papers over the last five days? That's right. I DID. (And all for the same class... gah!)

Anyways, I had to share the happy happy joy joy, and now you all know why I disappeared for the week. The good news is that all of this crap is now done and I have next to nothing to do before next Tuesday, which is the final day of class for this five week course... which means I might actually have free time.

Yes, okay, I do still have my Intro to Statistics class that I need to study for, but that takes much less time than analyzing stuff for Global Business Issues. Let me tell you, it blows having a published author for a professor.

Today's moment of WTFLOL:

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I'm Buying This T-Shirt

... and wearing it to the office. Preferably on Halloween. Or the next movie release date.

Sunday, September 6, 2009


If you're squeamish, turn back now.

"a desire for bloodshed"

This isn't the term I'm looking for. My villain has something a little more severe than bloodlust. It's an addiction... not to killing, per say. The blood excites her. Killing simply produces more blood and therefore more thrill, so she does that whenever possible. Think Mr. Brooks, only female and without the desire to stop killing. There has to be a term for it somewhere. Psychologists like making up those sorts of things.

My villain doesn't go around dressed in black with scary tattoos and a constant ill-tempered expression. She isn't frightening until the bloodlust shows. You couldn't pick her out of a crowd and say, "look, it's the killer! GET HER!" She isn't really cute and innocent looking either, though. Not a killer. Not a prom queen. Not the girl next door. Not the valedictorian. Attractive enough to get a date now and then but she's like the hero in that she isn't the most attractive thing in the area. Like all good villains she tries not to draw attention to herself.

But when the bloodlust hits, you know. She'll look at you like a vampire might -- she wants to bite you, lap up the blood, and play with you until you're no longer breathing. Vampires would envy the thrill she gets from blood. One of her fantasies is to pull an Elizabeth Báthory and bathe daily in the blood of her victims. Not that it's practical, but hey, a psychotic girl can dream.

The Villain spots Eric and she just knows... she wants him to be one of her victims. He's full of energy and life, a prime candidate for what she calls a "steaming bleeder." He's the most attractive thing she's seen in a very long time, and she almost gives herself away when she first meets him on a bus. Eric feels it even then. He knows something is wrong with her, but he doesn't know what, and he feels nauseous just from sitting next to her on the bus.

I should clarify that she's completely human. Oh, she might enlist some non-human help in her endeavor for that next thrill, in fact I'd count on it, but she is very much human.

And I get to spend time in her head to write this thing. I think I just freaked myself out.

Excuse me while I go take a shower.

Today's moment of !@#$:


Friday, September 4, 2009

The Sidekick

Okay, I lied. We aren't doing The Villain today because I wasn't in the mindset and couldn't think of what evil person/thing would be a suitable match for Eric. Plus I'm too lazy right now to try and make up a motivation for said villain. So yeah. Sidekicks.

I'll leave out the brainstorming part that made me think of this, mostly because I'm using it in my outline, but I came up with what I thought was a pretty unique sidekick. Eric is going to run across a very distracted lady he nicknames Preggers, because well... hello, she's pregnant. (Gee, where did I get the inspiration for that one? Yes, I am that shameless. Don't look at me like that. This is for NaNo -- it's supposed to be easy to write, and I'm writing what I know, kthx.)

I don't have a name for her yet, but she's got pregnant 'tude to spare and is in deeper shit than anyone truly realizes. She's got reason to be involved in Eric's shenanigans, whatever they end up being. And no, she won't be the romantic interest. She's got a boyfriend. Sort of.

So what does she look like? Probably blonde. Not a natural blonde, I'm thinking, or she spiced up her dirty-blonde-ness with highlights. Keeps her hair pulled back out of her face because she sweats a lot. German nose, hazel eyes, short thick fingers, kind of stocky (she was stocky before the pregnancy). Prefers to wear flip-flops.

Now that I think of it, I do know who I want for a villain. But this post is already pretty long so I'll save it for tomorrow.

Today's moment of zen:


Wednesday, September 2, 2009


I got it. This guy's name is Eric "the Ninja" Warczakoski.

That last name is quite a mouthful, eh?

Anyway, to "spice" up my nice guy a little bit, I've decided to give him a few quirks. One, he walks so quietly in his normal stride that most people don't hear him coming. It isn't usually on purpose, but hey, it's a great advantage.

Two, I've decided to make him an expert "street ninja" or "free runner," otherwise known as someone who does Parkour. That would definitely explain his arm strength, however I would also need to revise him a little bit to make sure he's got the abs to go along with them. I don't know about you but I don't think he'd have abs of flab if he regularly practiced things like scaling walls and jumping from building to building. His expert ninja self would also be prepared to tackle any obstacle thrown in his path, which is good considering I plan on throwing a LOT of things in his path. He'll be capable of doing some awesome things but I won't have to give him any superpowers to do so. I'm so tired of characters that suddenly come into their own mystical powers. It's too cheap.

Alright then, I have a nice guy with some very interesting hobbies. Still need to give him a job. Hell, maybe he'll just be laid off for now. That way I can simply pull something out of my ass think up a few past jobs of his.

At some point I also need to give him a best friend. Probably someone that's super ornery just to counter Eric's niceness. You know, the sort of guy that helps disassemble his high school principle's car and reassemble it on the roof of the school. That guy. I'm thinkin the best friend needs to be a Jeremy or something. Ya. I'll go with that.

Coming up on the next post...

The Villain.

Today's moment of !@#$:


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Mystery Must-Haves

I asked the good peeps over at AbsoluteWrite, and now I ask you...

Let's say one of your friends is interested in reading a mystery novel. You have ONE CHANCE to hand him/her your two favorite novels and convince him/her that mystery is The Best Genre Ever (tm). Being a good friend, you also want to make sure they don't accidentally pick up a book that you strongly dislike (for any reason).

1) What two books do you hand your friend?

2) What author(s) or specific book(s) do you tell them to avoid, if any?

Makes ya think, dunnit?


Hey, I Remember Him!

My brainstorming yesterday lead me to go look up my NaNo from last year, and boy did I find a doozy. I completely forgot about David "Davey" Jones. His general complexion is about the same as this new guy I made up, but that's where the similarities end.

In this here blurb imma give you, Nikki Swank (I know, I know) is a PI in need of work and Davey Jones is a miracle dropped in her lap. He just showed up at her office. Check this guy out:

“What?” she yelled.

The person took that as permission to open the door. Mister tall, dark, and shirtless walked in, his keys still in his hands, breathing like he'd run all the way to the top of the building and back down again to her office. The nipple ring in his left nipple glimmered with the rapid rise and fall of his chest. His sweat-soaked hair was in his face and his loosely tied shoes seemed to be missing socks. His shorts were dirty and torn. Not impressed, was Nikki Swank. She set down her cigar and folded her hands on her desk.

“Sorry, the personal trainer is down the hall. She doesn't come in until ten, but I can call and leave a message for her if you like.”

The man paused and looked up from under his hair. He was swarthy, to be sure – his tan was very Mediterranean and his hair was pitch black – but his eyes were a very clear blue and he had sharp, hawkish features. Not bad. Not bad at all.

But he was still standing there shirtless in her office, and didn't look like he could afford her fees. He didn't even look like he could afford his own clothes. She waited for him to say something.

“This is Nikki Swank’s office, right?”

“That all depends on what you want and how much money you are willing to pay me to get it.”

“Fair enough.” He shut the door behind him and made himself at home in one of the guest chairs. Nikki waited for him to get settled. He did so, his elbows on his knees, that hair still in his face. He snapped his fingers and pointed at her. “I need you to find something for me.”

The dialogue between those two is really amusing. I'm very tempted to pick that up where it left off and keep going with it. That would leave my new guy in the dust, though. I'd feel guilty about that.

Decisions, decisions.

Today's moment of zen:
(sorry, the moment of zen comes with a commercial before it that cannot be avoided)


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

This Guy Needs A Name

While I was putzing around this morning I had a thought -- this guy either needs to have some seriously razor-sharp wit, or he needs a healthy serving of sarcasm. If I make him sarcastic, it wouldn't be the watch-me-put-you-down kind, it would probably be more of a friendly teasing thing delivered with the grin of mischief. The thought of writing a witty character is really appealing, but that requires ME to be amazingly witty too, and that only happens when I'm not trying (and even then, not very often). Since I'd be trying to do it on purpose, I don't think it would work. So maybe I'll go with sarcasm.

And a name. Hooooooo-boy. This is difficult, because I can't even come up with a boy's name for my own baby (you know, in case it's a boy... of course I already have a girl's name picked out.)

He's not tall, dark, and handsome, so I can't use tall, dark, and handsome names. My dude is more like average height, somewhat dark, and mildly attractive. Average Joes need average names, methinks. No, I'm not using Joe. Or John. Or really anything that starts with a J.

I really have to tread carefully here. I don't want to pick a name I like, because I might use it for my own kiddo, but I don't want to resort to the number 354 most popular name of 2000-something or give him a cringe-worthy name like Deuteronomy. (Apologies for anyone who was gifted with this name or has a relative with this name. No offense, it's just... no.)

Age would probably help here. How old IS my dude? He's definitely out of college. He'd be out of graduate school too if he went, which I don't think he did. So... around 30, maybe? Hmm.

If you've got a spare name or three throw them my way!

Today's moment of zen:


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

His Dudeness, Part 2

Continuing on with my brainstorming session...

This guy, my future hero, is down to earth. He's realistic. I'm also thinking he's got a great work ethic, which makes me think perhaps he's from somewhere in the midwest, although he's definitely not a cowboy kthx. Kickass jeans and a nice shirt kind of guy. No metro skinny jeans, no I'm-stuck-in-the-90s baggy jeans, no look-at-my-ankles jeans... maybe a nice pair of bootcuts? (although he doesn't wear boots) ... and I'm thinkin' he needs a nice ass. Heroes just need nice asses, you know? Maybe he used to play soccer. And if he played soccer, you KNOW he's got some sexy calves, too. Mmmm.

Okay, getting distracted.

I just had this image of him talking to a girl with his arms crossed. That'll be his nervous habit. Crossed arms = nervous, unsure, anxious, out of his comfort zone. That would really be his only indicator, though, since his response to stress is to talk himself out of it (whether talking to himself or someone else). So he'd smile, he'd talk, and he'd appear relaxed. Only people who knew him better would know the crossed-arms thing (or someone good at reading body language, which is not a large percentage of the population).

And in case you're wondering, he's got gorgeous brown eyes, black [straight] hair, and a light olive complexion. Bet at least one of you thought he had blue eyes, am I right?

Still need to give him an occupation, though. Hmm.

Today's moment of zen:

"Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not."


Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Appearance Standard

You'll have to read the previous section before this one makes sense. Go on, I'll wait.

*insert Jeopardy music here*

I asked you guys what images came to mind when you read over my brainstorming session. Now I'll ask you this -- what hair, eye, and skin color did you picture with those descriptions? Feel free to do a double-take on the previous post. Nowhere did I mention those details. I didn't omit the information on purpose, but then, when I was writing it, those minute details seemed obvious. Of course he's bleep-eyed and bleep-skinned. Didn't everyone picture him that way? And his bleep hair! He wouldn't look right if it wasn't bleep.

The question isn't as innocent as it seems.

Also, if I tell you he's going to be the hero of a romance novel, does that change your perception? What if I told you he would be in a mystery? Or an urban fantasy? Even I picture him a little differently in each genre.

So I'm curious -- what does my hero look like to you?

Today's moment of zen:


Friday, August 21, 2009


Since I can't seem to make myself sit down and write after work (or really do anything besides go into a coma in front of the TV), I'm going to take advantage of my mid-afternoon slump and brainstorm myself back to awakeness.

The goal here is to get something into preheat mode that will be properly warmed up for November. Obviously it doesn't have to be serious -- it just needs to exist. Feel free to pop in with suggestions or whimsical brain farts as you see fit.

I mentioned several months ago that I've never written from a guy's point of view. We'll start there, then. I have... a guy. This guy, I'm thinking, shouldn't be too tall. He needs to be closer to average size. Maybe 5'11" or an even six feet. This may seem tall to some of you but there are enough people in my family and people I work with that make six feet seem downright cute. Just for the sake of having a fun number I'll go with 5'11". He isn't overweight, but he wouldn't be featured in a calendar, either. I'll say he's got some nice arm muscle and abs that used to be a six pack.

Hmm. The abs aren't maintained but his arms are... what does he do for a living? Think I'll need to come back to that one.

Dude's got a bit of a nose. Not weirdly shaped, just not small. Larger than your average nose but it doesn't take over his face. Maybe some thick hair that just tends to lay flat. He doesn't use good shampoo or conditioner so it has no body. Thick eyebrows. Again, not weirdly shaped, just thick. I'm thinking the eyebrows and nose somehow amplify or accent his eyes. Nothing takes away from his face. Each of his features add to his character until his face is pleasantly expressive. He can wiggle his ears but he can't lift his eyebrows.

What are the teeth right next to the incisors? Those teeth face front in his mouth(they "stick out" even though they really don't). They don't conform to the shape braces would have given them. He's got one cap on a right molar. His smile is a hair shy of being too wide for his face, and he smiles often. It's infectious.

And he's single. He strikes me as a single guy. Dated a couple of bad eggs in the past and is now out of the college dating pool since he graduated like 5 years ago. Just never found that right girl. His friends haven't really set him up on any blind dates and he's had little luck on his own getting past a first or second date.

Our dude is sounding a little too nice. We need to give him some cahones. Something (or someone?) he's passionate about. He needs a button to push.

I'll think on it. In the mean time, let me know the images you got while I was describing His Dudeness.

Today's moment of zen:

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Y Hallo Thar

Erm. I sort of fell off the face of the planet for a while.

*cue fidgety embarrassed-ness*

I took a break from everything writing related, and apparently I needed it. I haven't blogged, twittered, forum-trolled, or even emailed people unless absolutely necessary. What I have done is take a lot of vacation, get a lot of house stuff done, and watch a lot of TV.

And oh yeah, I got pregnant.


Teh Sass will pop sometime mid-March. In the mean time I'm starting up night classes again for the fall semester. I'll get 3 classes done by the time November rolls around and be finished for the semester, which I hope will leave me enough time to crank out something for NaNo. I succeeded for 2007, bombed 2008, and intend to fly past the finish line for 2009. I'm not even going to pretend that I'll have the energy to do that, but the actual time I can at least finesse out of my schedule. I'm a writer, damn it. I'm supposed to be writing.

There it is then. I'm not going to say Teh Sass is back in the bloggosphere, but I'm not going to say she's gone again, either.

*cue dramatic fade-out*

Your Moment of Zen:


Saturday, May 16, 2009

Ready... Set...


Okay, so I have a few months off of school and I'm supposed to have more time to write, right? Well not really. But I'm going to MAKE time, GDI, even if I have to pull an hour of sleep from my tired self. There is a weency problem, though.

What do I write about?

I'm supposed to be the one that answers that question. I know this. But I don't know what I'd want to write about that will hold my interest for 80-100k words, and I don't currently have any characters that are trying to beat their way outta my head. I spent three years with werewolves on the brain so I'd rather not repeat that, however it seems any time I think about writing my brain goes straight to my Kate story. I've decided it means I'm not done with it. It needs more love. I'm not ready to put more emotional effort into it, though. It's exhausting being in Kate's head and I'm frustrated with that story beyond belief. I need something fresh to work with.

So, werewolves are out. I'm not doing vampires because the market is saturated right now and even I'm getting a little tired of them (half the time I can't even take them seriously anymore. Thanks a lot, Meyer). I don't want to do demons as they don't hold my interest beyond an occasional read. Other shifters I'm sort of lumping in with werewolves. So in one fell swoop there goes the majority of the urban fantasy genre, and what's left for me to work with? Magic users. Meh. Guardians. Meh. (Although I have to say my Nasaru story from NaNo 07 was friggin' hilarious.)

Let's skip the creature feathers. Features. WTF with the Freudian slip? Been playing WoW for too long (I'm a Balance druid, which in form looks like an owlbear that can go pew pew. Go go laser turkey!). I do also have old stories with feathered hotnesses, but like I said, shifters are out for me right now, and anyway some other really awesome author I know is coming out with her first two books that involve feathery hotness, and I don't want to hitch a ride on her bandwagon just yet.

ANYWAY. Enough with the sidetracks. So if I'm skipping the thought of creature features for now, I suppose I better just find a character personality that suits me and write about him/her to see what hits the page. Don't think I've written anything in a dude's point of view yet so maybe I'll try that. Of course he'd have to be a complete asshole because goody-two-shoes aren't that fun to write about (to me)(unless they suddenly become bad guys which is kind of cliche).

A dude, then. I'll work with that. Let me roll that one around for the day and see if I can come up with an appropriately asshole-ish name.


Monday, May 11, 2009

Cold Fire

Cold Fire Cold Fire by Dean Koontz

I thought I saw the ending to this one coming from a mile away (and actually groaned aloud like "really, koontz? really?"), but thank God I was Wrong with a capital W. I never really got into Dean Koontz before because I started with a different story of his that I just didn't like. Nothing wrong with his writing in the other book, I just didn't like the story. Kind of like I don't do chick flicks (but love romance novels... figure that one out). There's nothing inherently wrong with chick flicks. I just don't tend to enjoy them as much as other types of movies. It was the same with the first book I read of Koontz's -- just didn't dig the story.

This book, however, hooked me. I *love* the dialogue. Not a lot of male fiction authors get that dialogue thing down to a point where I'm smirking as I read (which is why a lot of female authors adorn my shelves) but Koontz did it in this book. And I'm beginning to see the buzz about his ability to sustain suspense. He had me turning pages to a point where I blinked and went woah, hold on, that one event was like 80 pages? No way! This thing hit me like the multi-genre force of nature it really was. I finished the book and I shit you not my first thought was "okay when are they making the movie?" Lo and behold, the afterword had a blurb about that which was FRIGGIN HILARIOUS. (((this is the start of the spoilery part that I'm going to put in black text so you don't read it by accident)))

Turns out they have a script ready to go, they're just waiting on the right person to get the movie going. He's held up because ((SPOILERY SPOILER ALERT)) all the directors keep telling him "but what if there really WERE aliens in the well?" to which I was mentally shouting BE GONE DEMON HOLLYWOOD PERSON. GET THEE TO THE NEAREST PIT OF FIRE. Mostly because that was what made me groan about the book in the first place. Aliens, Koontz? Really? Are we really going there? But no, it was not aliens, and the Sass was pleased. The people rejoiced. And some fifteen years later there is still no movie because all the directors have the same "original" idea to actually put aliens in a story where there are none. Good job, Hollywood people. Way to be original.

Maybe Koontz should send his stuff to JJ Abrams. I bet JJ wouldn't frigging stick aliens in a story where there are none.

Anyways, peace out. Buy yourself this book and have at it. It's a good read.


Friday, May 1, 2009

Swine Flu - Preventative Measures

Don't do this.

That is all.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Denial Is A River In Egypt

My husband found this one earlier:

I'm concerned that my son has a secret girlfriend?
(posted approx 4 months ago)

My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he is going to get her pregnant.

What should I do about this?

Additional Details
He is not a homosexual, we have taught him from the bible and he has learned though our church that this is not in God's plan. I will not teach him about condoms, that is unacceptable, we have always taught him about abstinence and that is what God and his future wife expects from him.

I want to speak to our pastor about this but I am very afraid of what he would think we are teaching our son if he things we are allowing him to sneak a girl into his bedroom. That is clearly inappropriate and we are good parents, I am very afraid what he will think of us.

Hilarity ensues.


Monday, April 13, 2009


I LOL'd this morning when one of the radio morning show peeps started talking about "manscaping"... I guess his wife wanted a guinea pig for waxing purposes and they volunteered the other morning show guy. It's common these days for men to do more traditional girly stuff like waxing, but I hadn't heard that term before. Manscaping. LOL. Had to share :)

Speaking of, my husband recently turned down an offer to do a little waxing himself. He'd probably be embarrassed for me to talk about it but that makes it more fun right? (Love you, sweety!) Basically, my hubby is a big ol' sack of testosterone -- dude's got some serious hair like everywhere. Sort of like a blond Robin Williams. Or David Hasslehoff.

...Okay maybe not quite that bad, but he's pretty hairy. Anyway our roommate almost talked him into waxing his back but he backed down last minute because he didn't feel it was worth $40. *I* feel it's worth $40. He gets so friggin' itchy all the time with all that hair. Somehow, some way, he will be talked into "manscaping."

In other news, I finally bought some bookcases. I thought maybe two of the five-shelf bookcases would be sufficient, but alas... that only got me through the letter L (I was going alphabetical). We went out and bought a third five-shelf bookcase and the rest of the books fit perfectly. There's wiggle room on each shelf for the inevitable additions, plus I made a list of books I was missing as I put stuff away, so there's room for the missing books, too. I'm missing about 10 that I know of, and that's only because they were parts of series. There could be some missing singles but of course I won't realize that until I want to read it and go "now wait a minute, where is that book? I know I have it here somewhere..."

Also got a good workout yesterday while we were cleaning out the garage. Today is free large item pickup day, so we dragged everything and the kitchen sink out to the sidewalk to be picked up. Lotta garage stuff -- "workbenches" that were old kitchen cabinets with old doors on the top that functioned as "desk" space, an old lawnmower that crapped out, the shower we tore out of the lower level bathroom, miscellaneous pieces of wood, couple of tree branches, etc. It was a pretty impressive pile. And now our garage can maybe accommodate (gasp!) a second car. Scandalous, I tell you. Just scandalous.

Anyway I need to get to work. TTFN!

Today's nostalgic "Good Idea, Bad Idea":

Good Idea: Taking a deep breath before jumping into a swimming pool.
Bad Idea: Taking a deep breath after jumping into a swimming pool.


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Goals, I Has Dems

Heh. Okay, that was a much longer delay than I really wanted between posts. Something about distractions and lack of internet for an entire evening... anyway, as promised, I'm trying to post on a regular basis again!

Today's "hmm" moment: for the first time since January I'm reading a new book. This may not seem like the triumph of a century, but after cutting "unnecessary" things from my budget (which includes trips to the bookstore) I've been stuck either re-reading whatever I could get a hold of (not much when all my books are packed in the basement still), or going without. Mostly going without due to school work. And this really shouldn't surprise me anymore, but I feel so much more relaxed when I can read for entertainment. I'm able to forget the rest of the world for a few hours and bury myself in imagination. This strengthens my resolve to read the 30+ books this year.

So let's see... what goals can I give myself for April? And May. Probably need to think about that one ahead of time too. I did so well with the Jan/Feb goals that I want to keep doing it. Any suggestions?


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I'M BACK. No, really!

This ain't no April Fools joke, kids. The Bioche is back! School is no longer kicking my ass quite as hard as it was and I am slowly finding time in my schedule to do things like... well, blog. Or, you know, breathe. And sleep.

But hey -- great news!

As of Feb 27th we have... A SADIE. What is a Sadie? you ask. She's a sweet 65lb 1 yr and 8 mo old Shepherd-Collie mix is what she is! The cuteness is unbelievable. We adopted her from the Boulder Humane Society because we're just good people like that. No pictures yet though because I'm a slacktard, but I promise I'll try to get some loaded for you guys to "awww!" at soon. There is one pic on my husband's Facebook for those of you that happen to have him friended, but out of my usual reader base (you know, all 20 of you that used to come here) I think only one of you even has me on Facebook. Anyway, you shall have pictures. Check back in a few to see if I've added any. (u like wot I did thar? hee!)

Also have to send a shout out to Kelly Meding -- you are rocking that new book cover! Let me know when I can spill and post a pic on here. Also, everyone else should put Three Days to Dead on their to-read list when it comes out in October. DO IT. Do it or I shall show up at your house and eyeball you a lot. Like this. (Yes, that is me. Yes, I realize I have the frizzy hair of doom.)

Dang. I haven't done this in so long I've lost my flow. I was logging in here to come make a post of awesome and joy, however I think I'll leave you guys with this brief update and try again tomorrow morning. Oh! Wait, that was it. I forgot to tell you guys... my nightowlness is shifting itself to be severe early morning instead of "late night." I've found if I hit the sack at 9:30 (that's early for the person that usually goes to bed between 11 and midnight) then I can get up at 4am and have some serious concentration time. I love it. Two hours to myself without anyone else being awake, it's still dark so I still feel like it's middle of the night, and I'm not brain fried from being at work all day. The state of mind at that time in the morning is fantastical. It's just... wow. I wish I had converted sooner. I may have even found a new time to try and pound out a few thousand words on that new stuff I promised I'd write this year.

So, I shall leave you with my goal updates and be back tomorrow. Stay tuned! And if you need an update before that because you just can't wait, you can always check Twitter. Or seek professional help. Whichever works for you!


Long-term Stuff:
-- Make healthier eating choices. Considering what we spend on food we're not doing too badly. If we were spending the extra money we could be eating uber healthy, but right now we're kind of doing the budget thing, so yeah.
-- Plan / outline / brainstorm at least one complete novel. Slackerific the Slacktastic Slackness, that's my name now. To my credit though I've been hella busy with school and things so it's not entirely my fault. Right? Am I right?
-- Write said planned novel in three months. Pending previous goal.
-- Be active at least three days out of the week. Well, due to the new addition (Sadie!) we've been out walking at least once a day. This one is going strong and showing no signs of stopping!
-- Stick to the budget. We're actually doing so well on this one that my husband now bitterly calls us misers. Sir Spend A Lot is making more adjustment than he wants to, I think. Meanwhile I'm all proud of myself for living like the stereotypical writer ^_^
-- Find a second renter. Bit the bullet and joined Roommates.com. It's only been one day so far so I'm trying not to be too eager to get responses, but damn, every time I get those silly "you have another match!" emails I get all excited thinking it's someone that emailed me.
-- Finish one of two bathrooms. Got ourselves a curved double rod for the upstairs bathroom and are now using it. This is because we had to tear out the downstairs bathroom due to an un-reparable leak in the base... and now we get to rebuild it. Woo.
-- Take a two week vacation. Still don't know what to do with my remaining vacation. Pondering a drive back to KC to see the folks. Yes, I did just use that word. I am not old fashioned, I swear... I'm just from the midwest. kthx.
-- Read 30 books. I read Kelly Meding's As Lie The Dead and Carla Harker's Lethal Lies. Since then I've also devoured Scott Westerfield's Uglies and Pretties, with his other two on my to-read list. That's um... not much of an improvement since January. But, I am currently reading Kim Harrison's The Good, The Bad, and The Undead. That will be 5 down, 25 to go... I've got time!

Short-Term Stuff:
I got nothin. Any suggestions? Maybe I'll make a list tomorrow during my lunch break.

Today's nostalgic "Good Idea, Bad Idea":

Good Idea: Tossing a penny into the fountain to make a wish.
Bad Idea: Tossing your cousin Penny into the fountain to make a wish.


Friday, February 13, 2009

Pre-VD Day Celebration

I'm interrupting this very unintentional and totally sucky blog silence to bring you...

"Valentines Day Surprise"

Yes, it really is that awesome. (And yes, it is safe for work and kiddies.)

And it gets better... notice that was #23. There's at least 22 more of those suckers waiting to be watched!

If anyone needs me I'll be on the floor wheezing with laughter. Bring me an inhaler though, would you? I might need it in case I stop breathing.


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

In Which Reality Punches Me In The Face

But first, updates!

Long-term Stuff:
-- Make healthier eating choices. Much fail. On the bright side, a lot of the unhealthy stuff is being eaten or purged from the house, so now I'll have more room to buy and store healthy stuff.
-- Plan / outline / brainstorm at least one complete novel. Will pluck one of the ideas out of my head to use by the 1st.
-- Write said planned novel in three months. Pending previous goal.
-- Be active at least three days out of the week. Currently failing, but due more to omgbusy than laziness (mostly). I haven't given up on this one.
-- Stick to the budget. Well, friend that came to visit paid for damn near everything this weekend (we will get you for that, sir!), so we saved a ton of money there and are on track so far.
-- Find a second renter. Still actively searching. Anyone need to rent a room in the greater Denver area??
-- Finish one of two bathrooms. Still not high on the list of priorities, although I want to at least get the curved shower rod up so we can use the upstairs bathroom again.
-- Take a two week vacation. July vacation approved at work. huzzah! Now, what to do with those other 3 weeks...?
-- Read 30 books. I read Kelly Meding's As Lie The Dead and Carla Harker's Lethal Lies. Two down, 28 more to go!

January Stuff:
-- Beta Project, first five pages x3 entries (due by Jan 24) DONE. /win
-- crit Kelly Medding's book 2 DONE. /win
-- crit DA's Lethal Lies DONE. /win
-- get to level 80 (no, I'm not there yet) DING on 01-15. /win
-- clean up my work file down to 20 days past due Working on this. Looks ossim so far.
-- purge one box of basement junk a week Still debating on whether I want to pay double the price for a shelf that doesn't look like someone's used furniture, so those 7 boxes of books are still in the box. Might try to grab hubby and go through 4 non-book boxes this weekend.

Surprisingly on track so far. Dis makes me happy.

On the not so happy side, I feel like I'm going to be butting heads with my new supervisor on a regular basis. Department reorganized itself, I've been put on a new team, and new super has an entirely different leadership style than my current one. The new teams don't take effect until Feb 2nd and already I've annoyed her. Huzzah. (She's a strong personality. I'm a strong personality. She likes to micro manage. I have issues with authority. We don't meet well in the middle. Heh.) Already I was not happy to come into work this morning after my 4 day weekend of happiness and joy, so the headbutting didn't improve the mood.

Also, I have vowed to fix the fact that I have very few really fun weekends, because it sucks realizing how little I actually get them on days like today when ending said fun weekend feels like I just chopped off an appendage. It actually made me kind of cranky to start my work week. While I dislike my current carrier path, I don't normally walk into work snarling simply because I have to be in the office, and that's what happened this morning, hence the title of this post. Over the weekend I put everything aside to have fun and as payback reality pulled an ambush and bitch slap maneuver. Then my homework went RAR STABBY and let me know it was still there, too, and why wasn't I doing it, GDI?

Reality sucks sometimes. Good thing I'm a writer, eh? All this emotion stuff is good fuel for the writing fire. Maybe I can use it to power myself through planning and first draftness.

Today's nostalgic "Good Idea, Bad Idea":

Good Idea: Ordering a chili dog to go.
Bad Idea: Ordering a chili dog that makes you go.


Thursday, January 15, 2009

Skool and Updates

Time for me to start a new semester today. (I'm doing night classes, for those who don't know. Gotta keep up this whole day job thing to pay the bills!) My brain actually decided I needed to start the semester on Monday. I showed up at the right room at the right time... on the wrong day. Somehow I got it into my head that my classes met on Mondays, not Thursdays, and I was appropriately facepalming my own behavior. So basically I spent the whole day fretting over nothing (because I didn't have my first night assignment done)(three days later I still don't have it done, actually, but I didn't tell you that and you didn't read it. kk?).

In other news, I've tried my hand at Colleen Lindsay's query contest. 140 characters including spaces, which is damn hard, I have to say. I'm entry #12.
Things get hairy for a college student when she has rebound sex with a werewolf and becomes the first alpha female in... well, ever.

Looking back on it, I probably should have shortened it and put things like "UF 82k" at the end or some such other query-like thing. I took it more as a pitch request and did my best to cast the line and hope I hooked her interest. I was pretty confident when there were less than 20 entries. Now there's over 200 and I'm going holy shit there's some good stuff in there! At this point I'll just have to say good luck to the contestants and an early congrats to the winners, whoever they'll be! (And thanks Colleen for hosting the contest! It was fun!)

Gotta keep the post a bit short today 'coz I'm supposed to be working. Or something. So, real quick, I'll update yoos guys on my goal progress! (So exciting!)

Long-term Stuff:
-- Make healthier eating choices. Um... I'll get back to you on that one when there isn't leftover pizza sitting out on our counter. I mean what?
-- Plan / outline / brainstorm at least one complete novel. Brainstorming is happening. No notes yet though.
-- Write said planned novel in three months. Pending previous goal.
-- Be active at least three days out of the week. I have today, tomorrow, and Saturday. There's still time!
-- Stick to the budget. $20 a piece to come out of mine and hubby's paychecks tomorrow for the saving of money and things. Short term, we're good. Long term, however...
-- Find a second renter. Actively searching. Anyone need to rent a room in the greater Denver area??
-- Finish one of two bathrooms. Not high on the priorities atm.
-- Take a two week vacation. 7 day Alaska cruise in July has been BOOKED! (Yes, I know, that pretty much destroys the budget goal. But hey, hubby has 2 months off paid due to severance and you only live once. Plus, OMG, we paid $569 a person for the MIDDLE OF JULY on an Alaskan cruise. Hellooooo discounts!)
-- Read 30 books. I've read Kelly Meding's second book. Does that count? Why yes, yes it does! One down, 29 more to go!

January Stuff:
-- Beta Project, first five pages x3 entries (due by Jan 24) Not started yet. Will tomorrow (tonight is class from 6-10pm).
-- crit Kelly Medding's book 2 DONE. /win
-- crit DA's Lethal Lies Tomorrow along with the 3 entries. (I still owe you cookies, DA, coz I suck)
-- get to level 80 (no, I'm not there yet) Play time? What play time?
-- clean up my work file down to 20 days past due Working on this. Pwnt a bunch of purchase orders the other day. Significantly reduced overdue stuff.
-- purge one box of basement junk a week We can purge 7 if we buy some damn bookshelves, but the ones that don't look like ass are [relatively] expensive!

What about you guys? You sticking to your guns? Gave up already? How's the writing going? Spill!


Monday, January 12, 2009

Stuff I'd Like To Do

So here's what I'd like to try this year. These are NOT new year's resolutions. Why? Because if I make them new year's resolutions, they won't get done. I did, however, include some non-optional stuff on this list just to kind of throw it out there and make myself accountable to the intarwebz at large. We'll see if it works.

For 2009 I want to:

Make healthier eating choices. Note that this does not translate into "Diet"... while I love organizing things and figuring out schedules, planning meals, etc, I tend not to follow them once I've worked them out. Me and schedules, we don't keep up with each other. Also, if I eat a completely unhealthy meal or six I can't beat myself up for breaking my "Diet" and therefore can't feel defeated and give up on it. Instead I can simply shrug it off and do better on the next meals. (Yes, I actually do have to play these mind games with myself. It works though... with the exception of Christmas I did really well on this "plan" the last two months or so.)

Plan / outline / brainstorm at least one complete novel. I originally set this as my three month plan (to start in December and be complete by beginning of March) but seeing as December fell under that holy-shit-busy category I didn't get it started. I don't want to give up on it though, so I'm going to shift that goal up a bit and shoot for Feb / Mar / Apr as my plan time. Which will be followed by...

Write said planned novel in three months. Combined with the previous plan this means have a completed draft zero in about six months. For some of you this seems easy, however I'm a lazy ass that moves at about turtle speed when it comes to writing, so for me this is pretty ambitious. I'm really gonna try not to beat myself up if I don't make this goal. I mean, if it takes me seven months then it takes me seven months. I don't meet the goal but hey I finished it, right?

Be active at least three days out of the week. Notice I didn't say "go to the gym" or "do a few sessions of Tae Bo." I decided not to be specific after having spent an entire week painting our house and moving major pieces of furniture around (in prep for and after the carpet install). It feels like I spent too long at the gym, and my back muscles are now tight enough that my lower back and hips are screaming at me to stretch something. This, I think, counts as being "active" since it was at least an hour of movement / lifting / whatever each day. For future weeks I'll try to find something else to do such as go for a walk or try my hand at one of the classes our gym offers (yoga, pilates, etc). It'll be easier when summer comes -- we love to hike on the weekends.

Stick to the budget. We've made one... now we need to follow it. We've also made an agreement that come hell or high water we want to put aside $20 a week for savings (to later have for either play money or emergencies if current savings somehow runs out). Doing it in small increments like that means it doesn't seem so overwhelming, and if hubby and I each do it, that means we can save $40 a week, or roughly $160 a month, which translates into about $960 by the time he gets laid off (hubby was given like 9 months notice that his last day would be July 1, 2009. Hooray company buyouts and reorgs.)

Find a second renter. We didn't want to do this, especially with a newly finished basement that we want to use as an entertainment room (hello home theatre and/or game night room!). However, do to the looming layoff and some extra bills that need to be paid down or paid off by then, we have to say goodbye to our extra room and stick another renter in it. Hubby is going back to school and can't hold a full time job during that time period (nursing school) so we need the extra income. Not even "want." We need it. Sigh.

Finish one of two bathrooms. Because having two crappy 1980s bathrooms with the hubby and 1-3 renters is just not going to cut it. The downstairs bathroom hasn't been updated since the house was built in 1978 and the upstairs one has carpet (with the original brown and orange 1978 laminate under it) and unpainted walls (because one of the very first things we did was rip off all the wallpaper and slap some mud on there. Yes really, there was carpet and wallpaper in the upstairs bathroom. WTF).

Take a two week vacation. Technically, I get three weeks a year plus 10 holiday days, a floating holiday, and 5 sick days. Also, since we were bought out by Staples, all of our accumulated sick/holiday time will be converted to vacation days as of July 1 because Staples doesn't allow year-to-year rollover. Use it or lose it by Dec 31. Since I've never before taken a consecutive two week vacation, I want to do it this year.

Read 30 books. This seems pretty easy on the outset -- I mean, I'm a bookworm. I read a book a night if given the chance. But then I take into account the fact that last year I only read like 10-15 books (not counting school related ones) and suddenly that 30 books looks a little more challenging (especially when I remember that we're now on a choke-hold budget).

So yeah. That's what I want to do this year. I'm sure I'll think of more things I want to do but for now I'll stick with that. I'll start putting a little counter at the end of my posts once I start the writing stuff to let you all know where I'm at with this whole goal thing.

And, real quicklike, here's the stuff I want (or have) to do this month:
-- Beta Project, first five pages x3 entries (due by Jan 24)
-- crit Kelly Medding's book 2
-- crit DA's Lethal Lies
-- get to level 80 (no, I'm not there yet)
-- clean up my work file down to 20 days past due
-- purge one box of basement junk a week

What are you guys up to this year? This month? Is anyone else as busy as I am?


Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Week In LOLs

Porn Industry Seeks Federal Bailout
While this is actually a serious article, and I love the statement they're sending to DC, it still gives me much lulz.
Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. "People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt said in the statement. "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

Customer reviews "The Secret"
Prisoner finds answers in a self help book... but not in the way you think!

Hair Spray Goes Where?
Yeah. Really. This happened... and there's an x-ray pic to prove it.
"She was very embarrassed. She was clearly in a lot of pain, however it got there."

"This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray," said one hospital worker.

Do You Know How Fast You Were Driving, Son?
Sometimes this shit just can't be made up. Most of the lulz come from the fact that he was driving to a city named Darwin in a fashion that could have resulted in him earning a Darwin Award.
Brenton Alan Erhardt, 39, pleaded guilty in the Darwin Magistrates Court to dangerous driving.

He was pulled over by police on the Stuart Highway in July speeding at 147 kilometres per hour, south of Daly Waters.

He admitted to officers he filmed himself masturbating while driving from Adelaide to Darwin.

He also pleaded guilty to driving unlicensed, carrying two cannabis smoking pipes, administering the drug and carrying a loaded rifle.

Scalzi Discovers the Wii
And much laughter ensues.
3. Wii Sports also makes me intensely competitive, I think largely because I hate to lose to anything that looks like the armless dudes that come in Tonka trucks. When I’m playing the tennis game after a long volley which I finally win, I flip off the computerized opponets during the slow motion replay. Take that, Tonka dude.


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Been There, Done That, Blew It Up

Buh-bye, 2008!

Everyone else is doing a /reflection post for 2008, so I suppose I need to get my butt in gear and do one for myself, too. So what happened this last year, and did it suck major arse or did it rock my world beyond belief?

Both, actually. Let's go have a look-see!

January - Two blizzards. One dinky car trying to drive in them. A visit from the folks. Over 20 houses toured in the search for the Bioche residence. Lots of noise about "omgrecession!" and what that means for us 'mairkins (doesn't look like that's changed much, does it?). Now that I look at it, that was a great big sign from the heavens that 2008 was going to be friggin' crazy.

February - We bought a house! Holyshitweboughtahouse. Let me tell you, buying a house is a great big reality check. We learned very quickly what we could and could not afford. And we didn't realize exactly how much stuff we needed for the house until we went to go do things like mow the lawn and oh yeah we don't have a lawn mower. Also, we have too much shit (and it's STILL sitting in the basement).

March - I don't remember March, and that's probably a good thing. I think we unpacked some stuff and made a list of all the things we wanted to do with the house. Heh. Oh wait! We bought our kickass bed that month. It's totally an old person's bed with the adjusting of the head and feet and the vibrating massage stuff. Srsly, you need to get yourself one of these beds. My sleep, it has improved.

April - I dove into revisions on my draft zero / one (however you like to count that) and actually managed to revise chapter 1. Yes -- it did, in fact, take me all month long to revise that damn thing. The frustration levels were high. It was rather discouraging.

May - I started this blog! Poor thing is still in it's infancy, but hey, I'm working on it. I think this was also the start of the really weird weather. Lotta tornados, earthquakes, and coldness abounded throughout the northern hemisphere. Like I said, 2008 was gonna be crazy, and as of that point it lived up to that prediction.

June - The beginning of "wtf is this election over yet?" The media went crazy with things like Obama's fist bump and Rachel Ray's scarf. It was a pretty ridonkulous time in the media. We also had two of our friends get hitched (MWAH Kevin and Caroline!) and I managed to offend the entirety of my in-laws, which still makes me wince. (Note: do not blog about your family's drama.)

July - Gamer friend had his appendix out. Five days later the hubby had his appendix out. Friggin everyone had their appendix out. We also had a huge hot streak (20+ days without moisture I think) and we found out exactly how much it sucks to not have air conditioning. We do have a swamp cooler from the previous owners, but it isn't mounted on anything and we sure as hell weren't sticking it up against a window in the den to moisturize all of our electronics. That was also when our poor backyard turned into a jungle. (Now it's a winter-dead jungle.)

August - I swear to God, it damn near snowed. I have never in my life experienced such cold weather in what is supposed to be the hottest month of the year. The hell happened to global warming, anyway? This was also the month that I bit the bullet and enrolled to go back to skool, and also the month that everyone was like "under-aged Chinese gymnasts? wtf?" and much outrage ensued. Also... Sarah Palin? Really? I think, seriously, that 2008 was the year of drama.

September - The stock market crashed like an alcoholic on a bender. Back then that was shocking. Onoes, the banks are gonna implode on themselves! Onoes, there goes all our money! Quick, let's bail out those banks because it wasn't their fault they were idiots about lending and let's not hold them accountable for any of their spending with our tax money! Onoes onoes onoes! Yeah, I'm not bitter. Like I said, 2008: Year of Drama.

October - I turned 25 and became uber stressed with time management. Honestly, that's about it. I think the stock market crashed some more and some other banks went under but we didn't bail them out... I think they were bought up by bigger, healthier banks. The republican party continued to nosedive in the election. Husband was informed he was being laid off and his last day will be July 1, 2009 (with appropriate retention bonus and severance package, of course). Oh wait, that's when I got my super cute haircut! See, I knew there was something positive in there. (And I still love this haircut!)

November - Started and puttered out in NaNoWriMo. Didn't have the energy, creativity, or time to pursue the goal. My mind was a creative dust bowl. Owens Corning continued to be teh suck but at least our basement was finished. We did, however, finally put an end to 1.5 years of intense election coverage (and 8 years of leading the nation by "gut feelings" instead of logic)! Woo hoo! By this point the stock markets were fluctuating like a bipolar roller coaster and we considered hundreds of points in drops or rises "the norm." Go go apathy.

December - Stress. Seriously, that was most of December. And as predicted, once the banks got a bailout everyone else wanted one too, including the 'tards in the auto industry that felt they needed to fly out on their private jets to ask for money to save their businesses. Ya rly. On a happier note, my little sis got engaged! GRATZ SHESHNEE! (Stephanie) I've got until summer 2010 to whip my butt into shape for the wedding. Gotta look good for pictures, yannow.

And what did I do for new years? Hung out with my husband and sister and watched Pirates of the Caribbean. We paused the movie long enough to watch the ball drop and then we went back to the movie. Mucho relaxation.

Now that it's 2009, however, it looks like the year is going to be holy shit busy. Not crazy, not so far, but busy, yes. I hardly have time to breathe these days. We've got a plan to pay down the bills before the hubby gets laid off, we've got a plan to get stuff done to the house, we've got a plan (or at least good intentions) to get healthier, I've got a plan to tackle my total lack of writing, I've got a plan to get caught up at work now that half our team has been dismissed due to layoffs... busy, busy, busy.

I've also got a plan to deal with stress management, because I don't know if you all have noticed but I've been on emotional and hormonal ups and downs throughout the year and I'm tired of it. In the last couple of months my coping skills have started to fail me. The Sass does not like to fail when she can help it, so she's going to be all over that stress management thing like gamers at a LAN party and emerge victorious in the land of personal well-being.

I will pwn 2009. Oh yes, I will.


Saturday, January 3, 2009

I'm alive!

I swears it!

Short post. Just wanted to let you guys know I didn't fall off the face of the earth or anything. Moar posts coming when I'm not busy doing things like painting every room in the house this weekend.

Hope you guys had a happy new year! BBS!