Friday, May 16, 2008

penix goes whar?!

My husband and I were listening to the radio on the way to work this morning. I guess Shania Twain is calling it quits with her husband of 14 years. This is not surprising in Hollywood - everyone and their brother seems to be calling it off on a regular basis. What struck me as odd was Mutt's (srsly, is that his name?) religious views.

Apparently, he vowed to only have sex four times a year (by his church's mandate?), and that was only if those four times were dedicated to trying for children.

My husband and I looked at each other in horror. Four times a year? Dear God. I think I would explode. I mean we sometimes go for stretches with no activity, but that's like two to three weeks at most, and that's usually because I'm PMS-y for a week and then bleed for 6 days. Even those "long" stretches don't happen very often.

Then I started thinking, why even bother with the four days a year? If you're going to deprive yourself that much, why not just go all the way and declare yourself celibate? And why, why, would you keep this belief when you're married to SHANIA TWAIN?!

Mutt, I don't know if you noticed, but Shania is hot. Who cares if she's 42 or whatever? She's a freakin' cougar. If I was a guy I would be all over that ass as often as possible.

Four times a year. [shakes head]

Ponder of the day:

"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"


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